Home Business / Home Office Rites of Passage

Commentary, Home Office Nonsense, Now That's Funny!
April 24th, 2019 No Comments »

Twenty-four years spent working from home, and today I had my first batch of Ramen noodles. Along the way, I’ve hit a few other milestones and had a few epiphanies. For you teleworkers out there, these may not apply – especially if you work for Yahoo! But here are 11 that come to mind. Have any to add? Reply to share your experiences or realizations.

– Ramen Noodles for lunch (not because they’re cheap, but because they’re easy. As Pumba said, “Slimy, yet satisfying…’)

– A kid crying in the background during a client call

– A dog barking during a conference call (and by ignoring it, effectively passing it off as coming from the home office of someone else on the call)

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New Years Resolutions & Other Observations From The Home Office

Commentary, Now That's Funny!
January 5th, 2010 1 Comment »

Here in my Home Office, I hate New Years resolutions. I used to make them and never keep them. So I resolved to stop making them.

But, if I had some resolutions to make, they would be to…

Clean that Desk. I have this custom-built beauty of a desk. Plenty of surface area, drawers, a wire chase for my cables and stuff. But it’s really just a place for my stuff. Queue the George Carlin routine.

Sad, really. A cursory glance reveals: My iPod and Monster FM transmitter (just got back from a road trip), a review copy of Elsewhere USA by Dalton Conley, unsent holiday cards, my daughter’s digital camera and portable phone (how they got here, I have NO idea – but I am NOT surprised either…), an atomic projection digital clock still in the box, a stack of bookmark inserts from a promotion I did with Residence Inn…

You get the picture. All this stuff has (or should have) homes. Find or make their homes. Put them there. Move on. Read More »

Inc’s Humorous Take on Home Officing Realities

Now That's Funny!
January 31st, 2009 No Comments »

Home officers — whether home-based business owners or teleworkers — face numerous issues: The increasing cost of products and supplies. Customers and clients who beat us up over price.


What about the usual misperceptions and realities that abound in the home-based workspace? Like wearing PJs into the afternoon, or blowing our profits on FourBucks (oops, Starbucks),

or making nice with Oprah in the afternoon?

Here’s Inc. magazine’s take on home officing’s maladies and misperceptions. Agree? Have some others? Let me know…

Nothing Funny About TARP: Home Office Hand-Outs Ain’t Coming

Now That's Funny!
January 23rd, 2009 No Comments »

The home office lament: When Big Corporations coming clamoring for a hand-out, the small entrepreneur is lost behind stacks of cash.

What’s a home-based business owner to do? Laugh. And sing along (but don’t be waiting for your slice of the pie — it’s been engulfed and devoured by corporate CEOs)…

Looks like Boca Raton, to me. They could use some TARP, too, given how badly the community was slammed by Bernie Madoff…

Home Office Waste & Comedy on the Campaign Trail

Now That's Funny!
October 17th, 2008 No Comments »

Just when I thought the vitriol and arguing of campaign was driving me to drink — hard — this election season, the goings-on at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Dinner are worth watching. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve chided others for introducing politics to business blogs. This is a bi-partisan presentation, and shines a whole new light on the candidates.

Full of good humor and subtle sniping, I’ve already lost an hour to YouTube…

Sen. McCain’s presentation…

And Sen. Obama’s retort…

Chief Home Officer Wins in November… Maybe

Home Office Nonsense, Now That's Funny!, Uncategorized
August 26th, 2008 No Comments »

Leave it to a “Too much time, too few deadlines” home officer to spread the humor and joy — with a touch of cynicism — about our electoral process.

Yesterday, I entered the Race for the White House. Today, apparently, Diebold has accidentally named the winner. Don’t know if it was the Chief Home Officer (Campaign Slogan: Free Bunny Slippers to All!). But it’s worth a watch (twice, so you can read the crawler)…

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

Vote Chief Home Officer for Prez

Now That's Funny!
August 25th, 2008 No Comments »

In honor of the Democratic National Convention — and since Ralph Nader is nowhere in sight to play the spoiler (yet) — the Chief Home Officer has decided to toss his (my?) hat into the ring as a wildcard, third-party candidate for president.

His / My platform: Ban smirks when people learn that boxers and tanktops are standard attire in the home office, require muzzles for barking dogs (OK, just Riley – and for cat owners who think their choice in pet is ohhh so much better than some lousy canine), mandate telework for all applicable employees, and grant carbon credits to home officers for each mile NOT commuted.

OK, so those last two will never be adopted. So many opportunities, too many little minds.

So, watch the latest news segment on my presidential bid. And lend me your vote. Or wait for Ralph. I’m sure he’ll show up eventually…

Friday Funnies: How NOT to Respond to Customer Complaints

Now That's Funny!, Uncategorized
August 15th, 2008 No Comments »

On Monday, I received my weekly WHY Xtra from The topic: Five Phrases that Help Diffuse Testy Customers. If you work from a home office, or small business, or a some cave where you serve your customers, take note.

Along with apologies and a promise to “…get to the bottom of this,” Dina and the gang included such lines as, “I hear what you’re saying,” and “I would feel the same way if I were you.”

Never were sincerity, empathy and a more vivid, heart-felt display of true emotional sucking-up distributed by stroke of the Enter key.

I, on the other hand, take a different approach. I asked Dina whether, “Get Lost, you lousy, cheapskate weasel!” might be an appropriate response? Or what about a promise that if they don’t back the heck off, I’ll send their email address to my dear friends and lonely souls — those deposed Nigerian oil ministers looking for someone, anyone, to deposit US$10.5 million into their bank account…?

No? Then how about these responses to testy customers… Read More »

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